Originally Posted by jphillmore
Hi, I am a monogamous male who is falling for a poly female. I really don't know what to do. I don't genuinely like and care about someone enough to want to be in a relationship very often at all, and I have never had a relationship with a poly. We have gone out a few times over the past few wks and enjoyed each others company, stayed in a few times as well. Things were going well and we both feel the same way about each other. She gave me a disclaimer once as well that I wasn't the only person she was seeing.
I didn't really think about it much until I went to meet her with a group of her friends a couple of days ago. Some guy came in, gave her a big kiss, and she sat on his lap. It felt like someone dropped a 150lb weight on my chest, then kicked me in the stomach a few times. I left and drank, and drank, was really upset, and felt pretty stupid. I still have a lot of feelings for her... But how do people deal with that??? Is it even possible???
Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
I don't know what everyone else wrote, so sorry if there is a repeat. Actually, no I'm not as my take on things is my take, not everyone elses.... I'm a Canadian, what can I say, we apologize for everything.
I think she was a tad rude perhaps, or just naive? I am poly and am very much involved with Mono, I would never or sat on anyones lap and kissed someone else when we first met. Out of respect for his nature and where he was at at that time. We went on a long journey to get to a place where we are now and I cared about him enough to allow space and time to do it's thing in making him feel comfortable.
Now, she might not of thought of what you were feeling and thought nothing of it. As a poly woman I would like to think that it was her responsibility to think of these things, but whatever, it is what it is. It happens and I'm hoping she didn't do that to prove something. I hope it wasn't a matter of her saying, "get with the program and suck it up."
I hope you have been able to sort something out and have been honest about how that made you feel. If for know other reason than the possibility of her learning something about how what she does effects others.