Originally Posted by nycindie
You need more things and people to connect with in your life. You are depending too much on your girlfriend to fulfill and validate you. The sentences I bolded make you sound very co-dependent to me. You've only been dating a short while - six months is nothing, really. And at this point, you're thinking about her all the time, and asking her all the time for reassurance. That screams needy and clingy. Take a few steps back, hon! I think you should make an effort to expend your social life and find other ways to be satisfied that are not reliant upon HER and what kind of attention she can offer you. She sounds stressed. You need a fuller life in which she is important, but not the center of your world! And don't even think about moving in with them until you've been together for at least a year, for goodness sakes.
Well, first of all... I've already decided not to move with them, no matter what city they're in. And as far as the "needy" statement. I'm not needy, as in co-dependent. But I sure as hell am "needy" to the degree that I need to know what she's thinking and how she's feeling... because I don't get any of that. I just want things to be like they were a few months ago. I know it won't be that intense again... but I'd at least like to feel like a part of what goes on in her head.
Any advice I ever see in terms of poly relationships says to "talk openly", "have tough conversations". I've done that. Every time I dwell on something for more than 24 hours, I talk to her about it. But that doesn't seem to fix my problem. She says the right things, but her actions don't show it.