Originally Posted by polywannacrackeryo
To consider leaving simply because she wants a kid feels cold-hearted to me. It's her body. It's her decision. But on the other hand, that desire is so far removed from what I want that her yearning to have a baby almost feels personal, even though I know it's not, (and yes, it's ridiculous to even think that).
I'm just not sure how to address that without sounding like a selfish douche.
This baffles me somewhat.
My husband and I have had this talk. We have 4 kids. He adamantly does not want any more. Period.
He loves me. But-more kids would mean he lives somewhere else. That's a hard limit for him.
There's no "cold-hearted" about it. His heart is not cold at all. It's just that he knows what he needs and he's been clear about setting it out in black and white (with multiple shades of gray in other arenas).
Likewise- I love my ex. I will ALWAYS love him.
But he wanted to live the "free for life keep playing" life. He works when he feels like it, he couch-surfs for a living. I wanted a family life and a home.
So-we're FRIENDS. I love him. He loves me. He is supportive of me being happy in MY life and I happily spend time talking and enjoying his company when he flutters through.
My ex-girlfriend wanted out of Alaska. I wasn't up to leaving yet. I had a baby and wasn't sure where things would go with the courts if I left. So-we aren't a couple. She's happily married to her wife in another state and visits here occasionally.
The reality is; we can't build healthy relationships with people unless we learn to be true to ourselves.
Because if we can't be in a healthy relationship with our self-there's no way we can do it with someone(s) else.