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Old 11-02-2013, 01:23 AM
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Piroska Piroska is offline
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 90

Thanks, JaneQSmythe

Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
I still have to read the rest of the thread...but, actually, this is the best answer on the "public" side of things until you have negotiated how you two can safely "link" to each other without negating your privacy concerns.

Luckily both of my boys are even more paranoid about internet security that I am (and I am the only one that has professional cause for concern). I have separate nom-de-plume's for each area of my life.
This is much closer to how I typically try to work things. Morp is different in that he doesn't care that all of his things are linked.
We each have OKC profiles that link to each other - that are separate from other usernames. We each have "fake" Facebook profiles (using different names) that are "friended" but we don't post personal info and limit our "friends" to people who already know us/know about us.
This is similar to what I was nagging at him to do. But it's been pointed out to me that he doesn't HAVE to do this. If he wants to, he can; if he doesn't want to, I am free to not link to him. I'd prefer to be able to; it acknowledges him as "more important" than others I may play with in public. But it's by no means necessary.
On the "private" side - i.e. his being upset about you finding his OKC profile - that just seems weird to me - but we are very open amongst the three of us - even if not to the outside world. I frequently Google all of us to see where any "leaks" may arise...
That - right there - is exactly the reasoning I had in googling his profile name - how far would the leak go if I remained linked to him on facebook? He saw it as a lack of trust and a breach of privacy to not ask first. My arguing the above point just upset him more that I was not understanding his perspective.

I originally thought he was primarily upset about me finding the OKC profile, and I think it muddied the waters a bit in my mind, because what was ON his OKC profile rather upset me. But because that is a whole other topic I avoided bringing it up to him until today, when we have started talking about where our boundaries and expectations are from a much calmer outlook.

But I did find out that it was not that I found his OKC profile - it was as london said, he was upset the WAY I found it - by running a search on his name as opposed to asking him if he had a profile.
current relationships:
Guy - Dom/husband
Minx - sort of dating
Cru - (no longer dating)
Lee - Guy's girlfriend
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