I guess I have a hard time understanding how you didn't want to discuss having a child with your girlfriend? I mean, you'd been with her for 8 years, which is a really long time. She must've been a big presence in each others lives, so you would've realized how much she would be impacted by you having a child?
I'm not trying to judge, just to understand. From my perspective both as a mother and from inside a triad, I definitely struggled with my gf wanting a child with my husband at first. It was a huge sore spot in our relationship for a while, but eventually I found her unwavering love for ME (not just him) was what convinced me. I felt incredibly protective of her during the pregnancy, closer than ever before. I just wonder what you're gf's take on the pregnancy was? I've not known many people in the position I was (and hope to be again soon) in.