Originally Posted by polywannacrackeryo
I think it may be very possible that I am (*gasp*) monogamous. I don't know for sure. I love who I love. And right now, that's her. I would be willing to reshape my entire definition of "happily ever after" if I knew her heart was in it. The problem is, I don't know if it is.
Haha! Even after nearly 3 years in a triad with my husband and gf I feel the same way! I don't 'feel' polyamorous. I can't see myself loving anyone else besides who I love right now. The circumstances of that relationship coming together would have be so 'perfect' that it's incredibly unlikely that I will ever have another partner. I love who I love, and that is that.
When I met my gf, my life spun out of control as I reeled with the concept of having her in my life. She, my husband and I eventually redefined ourselves, and each of our respective 'happily ever after' definitions. This was really only possible because ALL of our hearts were in it 100%. Of course, we didn't know that right away, but it became clear over the first year.
So, I do believe the root of your issue is figuring out if both of your hearts are in it.