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Old 11-01-2013, 01:38 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
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You know the feeling of planning a big event? Wedding, big party, whatever. You may stress out over the details beforehand, wonder how it's going to go, hope for the best and dread the worst. And then, when it's showtime, and the lights are on, all that goes away? The waiting is done and you're just... there?

That's how it felt yesterday after bringing my daughter back for trick-or-treat round 2 with her dad, and I schlepped down south for the Dumb Supper. I thought about what I'd feel if, by the time I got there, everyone had left, and by that point, I'd already had the upset come and go, and it was just, "Well... time to go find out."

When I arrived, P's mom and son were still there. His niece and her family, and his sister and her husband had left, so most people had gone. However P's mom had made it a point to stay and chat with me after I got there, and I thought that was very sweet. They saved a plate for me, I asked P who each dish represented while conversation was going on, I scarfed down my dinner (waaaay too fast), and we all had a good time.

I missed seeing the others, but it was still a nice night. By the end of it, we were all kinda beat, but we smoked some hookah, played with the cats, and then *clonk* out. Until I had to get up at 5 to make it home to feed MY cats and head to work. Zzzz...

Lesson learned? I dunno. I still think plans need to be shored up a bit better in advance, including any follow-through on the things we discuss. No assumptions, period. Even if we think something is crystal clear.

Second lesson? At the very least, his mom is including me as part of the family, and that really feels good (and kind of helps to quell the insecurity). His son has always been a great kid, very welcoming of everyone, and his daughter (same age as my older daughter) is the same way, so that's a good thing too. I suppose the rest may come in time, but I know I'm still sensitive to it, and I'm still going to bust my hump to make the time to spend with his family, even if it fizzles out.

Another lesson...
I cannot count on "losing" all my Halloween candy by leaving the bowl on the porch. Dammit. You're welcome, coworkers. November 1st is now officially "Gorge yourself on chocolate day!"
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Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 13; and PokéGirl, 11), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk
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