You seem hesitant to have the conversations with your people that could start with this:
I want to talk about what we have and what it could be. I would love to build toward a polyship with 3 people -- a triad. Or, a "V" with me as the shared hinge person. Explore what other love there could be here -- romantic love, consummate love, etc.
What do you guys want it to be? Could you be willing and able to explore that conversation with me?
Or are you happy with what it is -- friends who sometimes share sex but nothing beyond companion/friend type love? So I could know and I could begin to let go of the want for it to be more than that? Could you be willing and able to tell me where you stand?
What stops you from up front communication with your people so you can gain the clarity you seek?