He def wants to limit emotional attachment because I think he's both not very interested in it, and also feels it's odd and not 'right'.
So why is hubby engaging in this behavior and going against his own grain?
is not you KNOW.
Have you asked him if he's going against his own grain?
So I guess I am just seeking some advice and maybe an outside person to tell me what is going on here?
- BF -- no data given.
- DH -- possibly going against his own limits and engaging in behavior he's not really into and isn't "right."
- You -- Crushing hard, wanting more clarity and reassurance this is all ok with all the other players in the group and you aren't weird for being in a 3 people thing.
Could your crush be coloring your POV? Because hubby going against his own grain doesn't sound like "everything is awesome" as first described.
That still points to the same advice I gave before -- you all could talk, and get on the same page for what it is you have here and what you can expect from each other and what it is you each want/need/have as boundaries.
We could guess til the cows come home, but the answers are within your group. Could go talk to your people and sort it out.
I am sorry you feel confused.
But it's on you to sort it out and ask your people for the clarity/reassurance you seem to need.