Originally Posted by Hoyam
My husband fears that people think of him as a victim, a weak person (while i respect his strength for facing his jalousy, his insecurety et cetera).
It's a reasonable fear, and it's definitely changed the nature of some of our friendships with people, sadly my best friend (sister-from-another-mother) and her husband (although there was some other baggage between P and her husband as well that added to the shitstorm).
Some friends were cool with it, or more "meh, whatever" about it. Some immediately thought of me as the victim - that P was disrespectful of me - and that he was taking advantage of me, after having just gotten out of a divorce. It didn't help that this happened right around his "polyvangelism" phase, and he really turned a few people off with that as well.
It's over a year later, and there are still impacts. For some people, it's easy to say, "Screw 'em - they're not really friends if they don't support me." But I see that my friends are in their own way trying to watch out for my best interests, and I do wish my relationship with them hadn't changed.
Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, but I just wanted to chime in that his reluctance could have some weight to it. Good luck with it all, though!
Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 14; and PokéGirl, 11), two cats, one house, many projects.
My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).
Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk