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Old 10-31-2013, 01:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Hoyam View Post
My husband fears that people think of him as a victim, a weak person (while i respect his strength for facing his jalousy, his insecurety et cetera).
It's a reasonable fear, and it's definitely changed the nature of some of our friendships with people, sadly my best friend (sister-from-another-mother) and her husband (although there was some other baggage between P and her husband as well that added to the shitstorm).

Some friends were cool with it, or more "meh, whatever" about it. Some immediately thought of me as the victim - that P was disrespectful of me - and that he was taking advantage of me, after having just gotten out of a divorce. It didn't help that this happened right around his "polyvangelism" phase, and he really turned a few people off with that as well.

It's over a year later, and there are still impacts. For some people, it's easy to say, "Screw 'em - they're not really friends if they don't support me." But I see that my friends are in their own way trying to watch out for my best interests, and I do wish my relationship with them hadn't changed.

Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, but I just wanted to chime in that his reluctance could have some weight to it. Good luck with it all, though!
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Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 13; and PokéGirl, 11), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk
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