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Old 10-30-2013, 10:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
First of all, please make an effort to contain your temper. When I see a bunch of ALL-CAPS TEXT (commonly understood on the web as being shouting), as well as other "fortified text" (such as bold lettering, underlining, italicizing, and combinations of those), I immediately recognize that, "Uh oh, I have pissed this guy off, he is no longer talking to me, he is now shouting at me and lecturing me in strident notes." That can't be helping either of us.

I hope you'll take my word that I'm carefully, conscientiously, reading *everything* you write (at least on this thread). I don't need to be shouted at or talked to aggressively in order to get the point. The sad truth is, if I don't "get" what you're trying to say, then "increasing the volume" isn't going to help me gain any new powers of comprehension. In other words, there's no point in trying to get verbally aggressive with me. It doesn't help me understand you any better, and thus, it doesn't help you to get what you want out of the conversation.
I realize you're addressing CW directly here, but this is the thing I've been wanting to say on this thread (and the other) for a while now, and just haven't.

If I taught a course in a university setting, and a student tried to answer a question of mine, but obviously misinterpreted my intent, finding blame isn't the answer. Telling the student to listen more/harder isn't the answer. Pointing furiously at the book and saying it's all in there, read it again isn't the answer. Getting angry and talking sternly (or even yelling) at the student isn't the answer (and that really is what ALL CAPS is about - emphasis). You don't succeed in communicating knowledge and fostering discussion by telling the listener that they didn't do it correctly and you'll wait while they try it again.

Is the frustration level worth it to them to continue? Maybe. Maybe not.

Is this a university setting? No. So there's even less incentive for someone to stick around if they're not getting it. No skin off my back if I choose to leave the thread.

Kevin, that was a hell of a post. You're a good egg.
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Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids, two cats, one house with many projects.
Chops (previously 'P'): My partner of ~3 years. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena (previously M1): Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa (previously AG): Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

My navel-gazing blog thread:
A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
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