a bit late, but who cares
I don't think anybody would be surprised that my opinion of the author is low, and here's why, while everything may sound fine and it sounds like good theory, that is assuming that everyone has the same belief system on what constitutes being a person who strives to do the right thing, a fair person, a honest person, a person who cares about others and would at least think twice before fucking over someone just because they don't identify as poly.
Of course people would have no problem saying "NO I will stand behind a family member no matter what"
as in when it becomes clear someone is gaslighting another and yet denies he is even doing it, or even if it is so subtle that it cannot be proven (however when someone not "in on it" picks up on whats going on, it pretty much is the judge and jury's verdict that it ain't being subtle enough) and so NO, I would not continue to back such a person no matter what.
Yes definitely no matter at the first sign of an emergency, but only because I would always give family the benefit of doubt. Yes I would have their back , but upon realizing that abuse was happening and after repeatly using the family's good name, and the safety that a family brings and taking that for granted and advantage to do fucked up things simply because I had different views on what is a matter of opinion?
when that becomes a pattern, fuck no I would not continue to back up a person who continuously abuses a position within the family or one's work.
What if the supposedly cowboy/cowgirl is not, but rather an innocent bystander who unbeknownst to them got involved with a "poly" person who not only neglected to tell them, but essentially denied that would even be a possibility
and further more, I have witnessed some pretty fucked up shit that I would not condone if it the person was a full on family wrecking cowperson as I don't believe in stooping becoming an abuser to deal with an abuser, the same way I don't believe in becoming a criminal in order to fight crime.
sure, when all else fails and it comes down to that or nothing and doing nothing will mean death of someone and it is either you or him, but how many times are people willing to let the same person kill again claiming to be completely innocent and acting purely in self-defense?
what it comes down to, is the your beliefs in regards to equality. If they tables were turned do you suddenly not think your beliefs on the what is right and what's wrong suddenly change?
Do you not believe everyone deserves a safe place wherein they do not have to give up there privacy and if you don't believe in privacy how honest would you believe you are ethically required to divulge such info.
We all know the difference between right and wrong, and anyone who says they don't is not only lying to themselves, but they are lying to you too. And they can't be honest with themselves about when they are doing wrong that is bullshit that you should feel imposed upon by them daring to imply that you need to back them up because of they are family.
That is the whole point of being able to choose your family as opposed to the one you are born into. Which is why it is so wrong to have these bullshit rules about who you are allowed to offer to share your love and life with should they choose to accept it
Yeah some things aren't always black and white, but most people whether they admit it or not know damn well when they are closer to the wrong side than the right side, and if your are closer to the wrong you better have some fucking explicit consent from the person you are wronging or else I will tell you myself to fuck off
so all those words are just fine and dandy, but only when you share at least similar beliefs of what is ethical, fair, wrong, right, and the lines that if crossed without consent constitutes abuse, what it means to practice honesty because the "truth" is not something that is debatable
then yes, everything is right on the money
it could also be the case that those beliefs allow for a predator, maniupulator, and an uncaring cold hearted person has involved you in destroying the life of someone you loved under the impression you were helping, it's too bad you weren't given all of the details because you never would have been a part of that destruction, but because of your upbringing you were taught that being homosexual is a sin, so you are just looking out for there best interest because you care
no you were lied to, and bought all those lies as truth
no you were lied to and you mistook all the hatred for love, and even a two year old could see right through that major fuck up
but we are human and we make mistakes, so now that it is more clear does the offender fall to knees and weep for all the destructions and completely unnecessary damage afflicted to innocent peoples lives?
or does the guilt cause them to become even more vicious and ravenous to do more harm
it's not the first mistake that counts, it is what you do afterword, and in the case of the most fuct of the fucked up, yes a person's ability to agree to matters of ethics which is what is essentially deemed a matter of honesty and respect, if they refuse to even see those lines are crossed, they need to be detained and I am sorry but after a certain point when it becomes clear they cannot even at the very least respect truth, they willing choose hell, and if you all do too, then I will go somewhere else, as I know what I know, and these things I do know