Thanks for the replies. A little background about us.
I am 29, wife is 27, gf is 24.
Wife and I have 2 kids 7 and 5.
As far as the relationship. I am ok with my wife having a gf. Just not living with us. I don't know if I want another relationship now as it seems like to much work. May bee this just put a bad taste in my mouth. I would be good with a v relationship but wife really wants the triad. Don't know why she keeps pushing the triad.
I am going to talk to my wife and gf and see if we can set some ground rules. A time tables for gf getting a job and a time table for moving out.
And what will happen if the time table is not kept.
Gf does not do much around the house. All she has done is a few loads of laundry since she has been here. My wife and I have a nice routine/balance of house work. We cook dinner together. I clean up the kitchen and put dishes in the dish washer .... well you get the idea. But back to the dinner example, gf has never helped with dinner or clean up. She just sits and watches tv or on wife's laptop the whole time.
I like the idea of cancelling the cable but wife prob would not go for it. But anyway I am going to talk to wife and gf together and see what we can come up with.
I have been threw a situation like this before with my brother after he lost his job and we offered him a place to stay. It ended badly. It ended with me getting him a job, my dad paid for his rent and deposit for an apartment and my mother loaned him money to get a car. He lost his car due to not being able to make the payments. His biggest problem is that he got depressed. Thank goodness for their help. He is doing a lot better now and so where wife and myself. But now we are back in the same situation. But this time I nor my family can help her. I don't know if her family would or not.
Wife and I are alot better financially now then when my brother was living with us and I do not want to see us going backwards. We have worked hard to buy our house and saved to buy our cars so we would not have a car payment. When we work hard to make more money we save it and are almost to the pint that we have a rainy day fund fully funded and our next goal is to save for major purchases, such as a car when when we would need a new one, major appliances ect.
Wife and I worked hard to pay off our credit cards and now the only loans we have our our mortgage and student loans. I dont want to go back to not having savings and lots of credit card bills ect.
I also miss my wife. We would always go to bed together at night. Our schedules worked out great. Now wife tends to stay up with gf till... well idk wen I am asleep. I just miss the closeness we had and feel we are growing apart.
I have to leave and go to work and I will let you all know how the talk goes when later tonight. We all need to do more talking and sort this all out. I just hope we can talk and not end the conversation with nothing getting done.
Thanks again for the advise.