If you feel so strongly about her supporting her own weight then, perhaps the 3 of you should sit down and agree on a deadline for the GF to be employed by. If she is not, then define a plan toward getting her out of the house. I had to do this with several relatives and friends over the years, and it usually works. I don't like kicking someone out, but most people, when faced with it, will make a higher effort to get off their bumm, and if not, then that person's plan all along is not to work anyway, despite what they show on the outside. If its depression, or something along those lines keeping them from being motivated, then counselling might be in order to boot. In the meantime, it might be appropriate to have the GF do most of the household work as a show of respect for you guys helping her financially, as well as cutting out some of the luxuries that person may be taking advantage of short term, to set in reality, the financial hardships you and your wife have to endure. For example, I used to have the satellite TV service cancelled in our house, whenever we were helping someone get on their feet. It kept them from watching TV all day, and we used it as an excuse, claiming we couldn't afford it while they were there.
Anyway, no matter how it goes, you have to make a decision early on, weather or not your willing to support this person long term, otherwise everyone ends up miserable over it.
just my thoughts on it,...Dstone