Although you can't deal with everything that *might*
come up, you do want to have some kind of provisions in place for what's *likely*
to come up.
"My feeling with potential partners is that there are so many ways to give and receive pleasure that this [PIV] restriction shouldn't be a hindrance. Am I being naive?"
Seems to me like it's really up to you and your partners what is/isn't good enough. I guess just about anyone would want to experience intercourse eventually, but that's really just me taking a shot in the dark and not at all accounting for how very different various people are. Certainly hand or oral favors tend to go a long ways towards making everyone happy.
"My personal rule is that 'A' and I will be on the same page before I allow myself to become physically involved with another man."
Oh ... aren't you and A already on the same page? "Same page" as I understand it is a common understanding of what's going on and why. Is there something missing in those terms, or is my definition off?
I guess you and A have an "uncomfortable agreement?" Doesn't sound like either of you is getting *quite*
what you would have wanted out of the situation.
I'm pretty sure A isn't ready to meet M or T right now ...