Hello! I've read this thread with interest, since I am a new poly with a mono husband. My husband asked about being given a veto early on, but we talked it out and agreed it wouldn't be fair for any partner of mine to be disposable on what he thought. He isn't in my relationship - I am. Why should he have the ability to close my heart off? Emotions aren't like a light switch. He decided instead that he trusted me and my judgement. My advice would be to definitely address that issue. Also, no vaginal penetration? That smacks of women as property type of thinking. My body, my rules. But if you are willing to submit to that sort of limitation, good for you, I guess. Honestly, those rules say to me that your husband has a long way to go with accepting you as poly. Keep the communication with him going, and good luck!
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal
Me, Central Hub in a Y shape (38F)
Wife to DarkKnight (39M) & PunkRockAwesomesauce (42M)
Girlfriend to WarMan (40M) - Monkey is his long time friend