Stuck in denver...
Well, we delivered our freight in denver 2:00am on Saturday, and we are still sitting here waiting to get dispatched by our freight contractor. Many trucks here, looks to be a dead zone this time of year for getting goods moved out of this area. BB and I have been cuddling up a lot, watching movies, and enjoying each others company heavily, making love a few times each day. We have also spent lots of time with ZF on voice chat, letting her know we miss her deeply,..Especially me. I long to be with her so badly I can't stand it here lately. I long to have her head on my chest, her listening to my heartbeat while I hold her tightly, her hair tickling my face. I hold BB the same way, and it comforts me, but one does not replace the other, nor do I ever pretend it to. There is that missing part of me, as they each hold a special place in my heart, almost as if there were two of me inside myself, one happy and blessed to be with the love of my live, BB, and the other sad and longing to be home,...to be with the love of my life, ZF. It makes for a roller-coaster of emotions from within me that is indescribable, but not uncontrolled. It makes me appreciate who we are, and what we have as a group. BB and ZF alike have taken to reading my blog here, and encourage me doing something creative, expressing my feelings, letting them know how I feel deep inside. I am one of those people that if it comes into my head, I will express and say it without any barriers. Sometimes it gets me in trouble, but they both love me for it. They know exactly who I am, nothing hidden. This, I think is why we get along so well. Most of our friends tell us that people are not supposed to be this happy. Still others are sceptical of how we present ourselves, thinking its pretend, and a show, that we put on for others, but it is not. It is very real. We do not tell our friends and/or co-workers about our twisted triangle of love because it is considered so taboo, even for the open minded folks. No amount of words would convince most that what we do is ok. Yes, this bothers me greatly sometimes, because it is not fair for ourselves. ZF has only one person she spends time with that she has told our full story to, and even that friend, although accepting of her, has strong beliefs against it. The one guy she tried to go out with, well,...I told him, at ZF's request, and he seemed ok with it on the surface, but I could tell it bothered him. It's funny, I asked her if she wanted him not to know, so that they could pursue their new-found relationship alone, without interference, and she told me no. She was proud of who we are, and what we have. She did not want to hide it. This made me feel incredibly proud of her, knowing she accepts our love openly around others. It speaks volumes about her stability in who she is now. God, I love her so much.
These last few times BB and I came home, I took ZF one on one, out to dinner at a local red lobster. I always sit at a bar wherever I go, and ZF and I are starting to get to know the female bartender a bit. The bartender was under the impression that ZF and I are a couple, as we do a bit of cuddling while having drinks and eating. This last time we came home, we were all out shopping, and decided to visit the place. This was the first time the three of us were there together, and the bartender welcomed ZF and I, and said to BB, she thought ZF and I were a cute couple together, and started saying how we looked good together,.....at that moment,...I turned and kissed BB deeply in front of her, then reached and kissed ZF. The look on the bartenders face was priceless. Her standing there totally speechless, I turned to her and said,...'Don't tell my wife eh?,...', confusing the poor girl even more... BB and ZF just laughed. Totally confused now, the bartender asked for our order, and told the other bartender to take especially good care of us. The bartender thought for a few moments there, that she had given away ZF and I's secret to BB unwittingly, but then realized we were a 3, and not a couple. We drank, ate, and had a merry time of it. I had to drive, so I drank soda, and we all went home and had a great evening, laughing about our experience.
Hopefully, we will get moving today, as our truck does not make money when it sits still. Its our little mini-home on wheels, as we have almost all the comforts (no room for a bathroom so that sucks), such as internet, computers, household power, microwave, fridge, a nice bed, and lots and lots of love. It is not one of those super trucks, it's an ordinary sleeper truck, but it suits us just fine. well, that's enough for today I think,...hopefully it wasn't too boring,...Dstone