The cool thing about this lifestyle is that there is no rule book or manual, so everyone gets to make up their own rules- whatever works best for them.
And things have tended to shift a good bit for me. I entered this lifestyle as part of a couple and we desired "our third" because it is such a powerful desire for most men (as mentioned before) and it's the perfect (ideal) situation for the bisexual woman in a relationship with a man......to have a woman for both of us to love! Well- that hasn't happened.
Because I desire the triad and it's obvious that my options are much better if I identify as single and I seek a couple......I have changed how I identify myself. My options increased immediately but I quicky realized that these triad relationships take time. I realized that there was no way I could have devoted my attention to just one couple. Some of that might be age. When i was younger, I felt like time was no object, but now that I am older, I approach things differently.....And now I am dating two couples regularly as well as my primary male partner and my secondary male partner.
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.