Some people are just pushy. Is he pushy about any other things?
My experiences have been more like LovingRadiance -full integration. That said, it appears to be more rare, and I would say the majority of people that post here keep their relationships separate. I don't mean completely hidden necessarily, but when when you are on a date, the attention is wholly focused on one another barring an emergency. I do not blame you for wanting his full attention when you two are together.
Successful polymory is about nurturing more than one relationship at a time. It means caring for the older relationship, even in the midst of NRE. Granted, some people are better at this than others. Your guy kind of sucks at it.
Now, here is something I wonder would be helpful to you, if you just arrange to meet the other girl - maybe just the two of you? Could be after you meet her, see her as a person, that all of your fears fall away. Hell, he might be pushing her too.
Last edited by bookbug; 10-29-2013 at 01:01 AM.