Basically I'm scared that I'm just thinking all these things because of how much I miss Stephen. I'm worried I'll destroy Chris by breaking up with him, only to have Stephen meet someone else in the meantime, or just not want to get back with me. I'm worried even if I do end it with Chris I still wouldn't be ready to be with Stephen for the rest of my life either.
But mostly I'm scared that these things I'm thinking about Chris are true and that he really isn't the best option for me. We've been together for 2 and a half years and we've always spoken about our future together as fact, I just can't imagine ending it with him :'(
But as much as I can't imagine hurting Chris or ending things with him, I miss Stephen so god damn much. It hurts how much I miss being with him, and I just wish there was some way I could turn back time to when we were all together and happy