So there's a part of me that is actually contemplating going to a kink Halloween party on Friday. I'll make a decision that day because I know a part of it is that I'm pissed at how Seven is acting that I'm thinking of doing something that may hurt him.
Anyways, the reason I came here. To share something I wrote on a FB poly discussion group I'm a member of.
I need to do a rant myself. And maybe someone will have advice as to what to do from it. I don't even know what advice I'm looking for if any.
The end of August my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me. Our relationship and it's development (including power exchange) was apparently causing fights between him and his wife. Needless to say neither of us wanted the break up and during check ins to see how each of us were doing there was continuous conversation about the two of us getting back together once they figured out their shit. Plus living together makes things hard
He finally makes a comment that he doesn't know how long it would take for her to be comfortable and that he's up for a work promotion sometime after the start of the year that would have him working every weekend. The biggest need that I kept mentioning was a need for time. I've learned that I don't like casual relationships and for me a serious relationship needs a full day open and available for it (so for me, as long as I work I get polysaturated at two partners). That comment made me state that the two of us need to let go and just channel all our energy/feelings back into being best friends and confidants (which we were for a few years before starting dating).
Now he's been in a foul mood since. Sulking like a child because he's upset/pissed about something rather than addressing what is making him this way. Plus he and his wife both blame me for everything that happened. While she tells me that she was never mad at me or thought I was doing anything wrong he says that she believes I never respected their marriage. However, I trusted that he was telling me the truth about what was going on. Everything in our relationship I made it clear he needed to talk with her about to make sure it was okay and every time he said it was. So all of my actions were being based off of what he said was okay.
The thing is, this was his choice. He could have made others. I asked when he finally mentioned she was having problems that the three of us have a sit down with Amy (a local kink/poly friend therapist here) to have a discussion with a mediator. That request was ignored. The biggest problem in regards to their fighting was the power exchange. He could have listened to her when she said kink only in the bedroom and to me when I said even though I needed some sort of kink with him I needed time with him more. But no, he wanted a slave too badly to listen to anyone.
Woodsmith: My husband
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
N8: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: N8 girlfriend
Ruby: Part of the Leather Family
Logan: Leather Sir in the Family
Arc: Logan's boy
Holly: Leather family
K: Holly's sub