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Old 10-28-2013, 02:08 AM
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Bluebird Bluebird is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,506

I have one vehicle. I have an older child who needs to be taken to and from work, who is special needs. I homeschool a teenager. Yes, I am a stay at home mom, but he is a stay at home dad. (His teen is the only, and youngest.) I actually have less time than he does, because I teach Chemistry 3 days a week and have to make room for that.

Obviously I know he has commitments. So do I. I try my best to work around them, but I don't feel I am getting the same consideration, because his wife pushes back. Or at least, that's the impression I get. Even when he sees me during the day, when she is at work, later there is a complaint. You are right - I need to decide if it is worth it. Right now I am hanging in there, because I am hoping it will get better, and he is most definitely worth it. But, if I only see him for once a week sex, to me that is not a relationship. I don't want that. He told me he wanted Polyfidelity, and that I would be as close to being a primary as possible. I do believe emotionally and sexually to him, I am - yes, even with just once a week sex. I want him to be a primary of mine too, but it means something different to me - he is not my emotional primary, because he isn't here, and he isn't my sexual primary, because he isn't here. Right now I am just as sexually unfulfilled as I was before being poly, because my husband was having sex with me twice a week, but now he's down to once a week, since M is here once a week. Sex with each guy is wonderful, but I need more - I crave more. I need emotional support. I need to know it is ok to call or message him when I am feeling down - but I can't. It kills me, because I want that closeness. He assures me he wants that. His wife admits he wants that and she says she is ok with he and I sharing that. But then, here I am, not getting what was agreed to.

So, yeah.
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal

Me, center of a MFM V-shaped polycule (40F)
Wife to DarkKnight (42M) & PunkRockAwesomesauce (44M)
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