It would just be great to talk to people who are/have been in similar situations.
Welcome !! I am new to the group too, so I'm open for discussions. In my opinion, the most important and compelling quality to any successful relationship, but especially the poly relationship is honesty and open communication. When I recently had an opportunity to experience a sexual encounter with a female friend and her male friend, I took the time to initiate communication about what was going to happen. I said let's talk about our personal bounderies and what we are open to and not open to before we get in the bed. They shared that they had been sexual, but had not had intercourse yet. I asked how she felt about he and I having intercourse and she said that she would like to have intercourse with him before I did and since she didn't know how she would feel seeing he and I together, it might be best to agree that we wouldn't go there. So we didn't. But she was very surprized to find that she felt good about seeing he and I together. We do have plans to get together again and I am waiting for her to initiate that since this was all her idea and it was the first time she had ever been with a woman. She was such a delight and so scared to do anything- even touch my body. I had to gently encourage her to try "a little bit of" everything in terms of experiencing my body and she did. But just a little bit. She was very delighted. I called her the next day to see how she was feeling and she felt very good about the evening and our experience. Then, I called her a week later and she still felt positive about it.
Letting your partners know that you care about how they feel during each step of the process. Honoring the bounderies that each person might have. Being willing to wait until a partner is ready to move to the next step. These are the things that make it work !!!