So this is a Life Choice of "which options stinks least?" rather than "win or lose."
To me? You are starting to feel lukewarm about Chris. You don't share as many of the same interests as when you first met in your late teens. He was the first serious BF -- you may want to keep dating in your early 20's.
You want to date Stephen.
So... call the engagement off.
A successful engagement to me ends in two ways.
1) The couple finds they are both joyously willing and able. So they move on to planning a wedding.
2) The couple finds both partners are NOT joyously willing and joyously able. Not one person, but BOTH people. So they choose to break the engagement and remain friends. Or they choose to EXTEND the engagement to see if they can become more willing/able with the passage of time.
At this time? You are not joyous willing. You are not joyously able. So could pick which stinks the least.
At this time? I think it could serves you better to stop watching TV marathons to check out and avoid thinking it out.
I think you could schedule some time to make your pros/cons list. Then figure out which one is moving it forward toward a future long term happiness. Even if you have to experience some short term UGH to get there.
- Stay broken up with Stephen (pros and cons)
- Get back together with Stephen (pros and cons)
- Break up with Chris (pros and cons)
- Stay with Chris (pros and cons)
- Break up with both (pros and cons)
- Try again to be with both (pros and cons)