Okay, try this: pretend you are the new woman.
How would it feel to be her? Try writing down here on your thread, what you think she is feeling. How do things look from her perspective? (The reason I am encouraging you to write it as opposed to just spinning the questions in your head is because it gets you out of your own head.)
I think once you can develop some empathy for her, you may well be on the road to achieving what you want.