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Old 03-17-2010, 04:43 AM
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Originally Posted by korindino View Post
Jenny wants to have a deep one-on-one connection with me, independent of my connection to Alex, or hers. Alex seems to want us to be a true triad and spend all our time together, as a group.
Just as it's important for two individuals in a couple to have time alone to themselves, I think it's important for pairs in a triad to have one-on-one time. And if you're in a triad, then it's also important to have time all together.

I'm probably reading too much into a specific phrasing, but no matter how much I like someone, I don't want to spend "all" my time together, so I can easily see how all three of you together as a group all the time would be too much for Jenny.

If Jenny is slow at developing relationships, it could just be that this whole thing is moving very fast for her. But since you're fine with taking it slow with her, and it's really only your relationship with Alex that is going fast, then there should be no problem taking both relationships at different rates. To that effect, I would talk to Alex about slowing down the three-musketeers plan until Jenny's more comfortable with it.

Originally Posted by korindino View Post
How the heck do I get through it?
Keep the communication up, be honest with both of them about how you're feeling. Tell them that even though you understand that you haven't "done" anything, you feel that you're responsible for some of the issues and ask them to sit down with the 3 of you and discuss honestly how everyone's feeling, with the understanding that no one is expecting their feelings to change others' behaviour, only make everyone aware of where everyone is...
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
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