I have met quite a few of Prof's friends and neigbours. He calls me his "date" aargh. "Friend" works fine for me.
I haven't met his family, but none of them live close. I am not sure how out he is to his family. Interesting question. He is not out at work so I would be introduced as "friend," if that happened.
His primary does not want secondaries meeting mutual friends.
He divides his time between 2 cities so I am integrated here as much as I want to be, which is not much
Kips is not out at all, agreement with wife. He has told a couple of overseas friends but none in his city or at work. This also suits me just fine.
I am out to family, friends and a few work colleagues. I don't discuss my private life easily.
My best friend hasn't told her husband. She thinks he would be a bit upset, I respect her decision. I am not bothered either way.
I really don't like and am not good at good chit-chat, classic INTJ. So not meeting people works for me. I do best one-to-one, same with friends, I make friends veeeery sloooooowly and rarely have get to-gethers. I find group events torturous.
Would it be different if we were married? Not really. I would try to keep out of their work and family relationships as much as possible, that was how I operated when I was married.
I am quite happy with my level of integration.