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Old 10-26-2013, 08:23 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 13,504

"My personal boundaries and time limitations are not going to change until something needs to be changed."
Makes sense to me. Why try to fix it if it ain't broke?

Re: scheduling sex ... ahem, haha, guilty. Yeah I think I'm kind of bad at spontaneity. And here's my unique dilemma. I don't *get* in the mood like I used to (back in the good old days). So now I have to be "helped along" to get in the mood, and it *always* starts with me being nervous as hell and feeling like there's no way I could possibly get there. Well shit, if it's always going to be like that for me, then I guess, why not schedule it? One time is as good as another.

That and we've been trying to work it so these encounters always fall during the hours when brother-husband's at work (and probably working late that particular day). After all, he seems to cope so much better with the out-of-sight out-of-mind version of poly. Which means I cope with that better too, I'm way too paranoid to be worried about him being aware of what's going on. This rather means I am not destined to live a spontaneous love life, I'm actually more comfortable "limiting" my spontaneity than I am dealing with a flood of unknowns. Now that flood, in my world, is what makes for a mood killer.

So it's every Monday evening like clockwork for me and the good lady of our V, and yep, that's it for the week. Luckily her "encounter clock" is, well, as slow as mine is, so the "infrequency" don't really bother us. Actually even though she's not nearly the stressed-out type of person I am, she still shares in common with me that she doesn't generally unpredictably/spontaneously get in the mood. She has to ease herself into it too. So again, for her, one day is as good as another; why not schedule it, it's so convenient for us that way.

My apologies if that was TMI, . Just sayin', there's another example of a self-imposed limitation because, well, some limitations make us feel safer. One could always argue that's a sign of something being psychologically wrong with me. Yeah, and guess what, I got no problem confessing to that. There's definitely something psychologically wrong with me, has been since I was a kid. I take several meds and bury Mr. Hyde as best I can and that's how I live with it from day to day. Moral of the story? I don't know, maybe that crazy people need more gratuitous limits?

Oh well. Since it's been working for us, we don't feel the need to try to fix it. And that's the story of my sex life. Inspirational, ain't it?
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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