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Old 10-26-2013, 06:17 PM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North Idaho
Posts: 346

Well after my news on Thursday, DH cancelled his plans with SF for tonight's costume party. After 19 years of being with someone, I am still amazed to discover new things about my love. He and I are definitely different in some aspects to dealing with stress and pain. For him, if the roles were reversed and he just found out his thyroid tumor could be/could not be cancerous (because that is the reality of the biopsy~the lab can't just say either way so the safe thing to do is remove it {and I found out more about this but that's for later}) he would be very upset with me that I did not cancel my plans with new romantic partners. Yes I made that plural because he likes SF but in reality, he's actually digging on M. But for me, as it isn't that bad, I was fine he had plans and a little upset he cancelled. To be fair, he also found out his father may not be around much longer and that is also freaking him out. Still, he and I deal with this type of news so differently.

M and DH had been talking on okc, had plans for lunch and then he sort of chickened out and his whole tooth infection came too. So M and SF are best friends and M suggested SF check out DH's profile on okc. DH and SF hit it off, met with M offering her home to them for their first meeting. But when DH met M and the conversations they've had after, he's actually feeling more of a connection to her. Now he's in a quandry, has told M he is feeling something for her but if it's not reciprocated he doesn't want to say anything to SF nor does he want to come between their friendship. Knowing DH like I do, it smells to me like he'd rather not deal with these feelings and focus 100% on me. The timing of my results sort of played into his hands.

So for about the next 3 weeks, until my surgery, and maybe a few more after due to recovery, I sense DH will be 100% about me, letting these friendships go by the wayside. I hope he doesn't as I don't plan to stop my communication with a few gentlemen friends I have (haven't met them yet and I will be putting off meeting any one until I feel I'm ready, maybe).

So the thing about my thyroid. I have a cousin, same age as me, have this happen to her 10 years ago. The tumor was benign and she now has a scar on her neck to show for it. The point is...same lab results, same type of discovery of the tumor to go under the knife and have it be benign. I am hoping for the same results but even if they are not, cutting it out will most likely end it and put it into remission.

Ah, so this world of mine. I have come to like through messages a few guys, have had a few be a little off and a few, just want sex. I think that the time for me to date will be after the surgery. This might be best to for dh to develop his other relationships, get into a rhythm and feel good with his choices. Now I need to see if tomorrow's date with NS is on or not. He and I have been trying to meet each other since July. We both get busy, stop texting and then revisit each other on okc, striking up the conversation over again.
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