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Old 10-26-2013, 07:58 AM
InfinitePossibility InfinitePossibility is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 602

Oh so much to talk about here from the last day or so. Good stuff.

Would it help if I just stayed out of the way? If my posts are all inappropriate, then surely they're not helping anybody? I'm kinda disappointed, I really thought I was doing some good here.
Kevin, my opinion for what it's worth is that your contributions to this thread have been fascinating. You've provided an open account of where you picked up some of your views on body shape and size. You've talked also about how your recovery from what you experienced in the past is ongoing. I applaud your ability to reflect critically on your own thoughts and feelings. Keep writing - especially if you find it helpful.

Originally Posted by ColorsWolf View Post
You might not know this, but I used to think that females who wore very little clothing were trying to be sexual in some way.~
I don't understand your need to relate being sexual or not in dress to only women. Why the focus on gender?

Having said that, I very much agree with you that it's important not to make assumptions based only on clothing. Depends also on circumstances and on what else is going on around them.

If I have a night out in my local city at the weekend, the place tends to have numbers of people of various ages and genders who have made an enormous effort to dress in away that makes them more attractive to whichever group of people it is that they are attracted to.

Clothing choice may or may not have a sexual element. I don't think that it matters either way really.

My words of "BUT every one DOES have some 'basic form' of 'respect', like "Don't touch me unless I say you can or I WILL HURT YOU!"" I said LIKE AS IN AN EXAMPLE.~ This example is taken from the most basic of all seemingly natural "mentalities" of all "wild creatures".~
You've mentioned this several times, ColorsWolf and it simply isn't true. It is also not accurate to lump "wild creatures" together as a single group who all have the same "mentality".

This is not the case. Different species have very different social norms. Even within those, there will be vast individual differences.

My area of expertise is more with domestic dogs but I have done a small amount of research into wolves too. In the wild wolves live in family groups. They spend time together playing and possibly sleeping together. Of course, there are polite ways to ask for a game and it's likely that the advances of a young wolf charging over and shoulder barging a very elderly relative as they eat a meal won't be welcome. But - a young wolf behaving that way is very unlikely to be hurt. Depending on the individuals and the relationship that they have, the playful wolf may be ignored or they may be chased off with a snarl and a display of teeth.

Wolves are like people in being sociable animals and it's hard to live together if minor breaches of social etiquette result in one individual hurting another. It's in the interests of every individual and the group as a whole to have an array of signals and strategies for dealing with conflict peacefully. If you are interested in reading more, I'd recommend anything that David Mech has written in the last 15 or so years.

I see the notion of hurting anybody who touches me without permission as very strange and quite disturbing. I'd find it difficult to live a normal life if I felt that I had to behave in that way. In any given day, somebody may rudely push past me in the supermarket, another person might get my attention by putting their hand on my shoulder to ask me for directions, my work colleague may get my attention by grabbing my arm, I might go to the pub and have a drunkenly affectionate man put his arm round me and offer to buy me a drink and when I go to the toilet I may feel another bloke grab my arse as I go past.

These are all things that have happened to me in the last 6 months or so. In none of these examples have the other person sought my permission to touch me. In some of them the touch is inappropriate and unwelcome. And yet still, hurting the people involved would not be okay and isn't something that would cross my mind.

Colorswolf, I feel for you if the world is so threatening to you that you feel hurting anybody who touches you without your permission is okay. Your world must be a scary one.

Please, don't justify your problematic thoughts by making reference to "wild animals". What you describe isn't normal in the "wild" and referencing it is no justification.

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