Another solo poly here.
I'm not sure how the knowledge that you can love another is able to sneak up on people out of the blue the way you seem to feel is "normal". I'm sure it does—as you said, a little reading here supports that—but it's always struck me as the product of someone having swept all the previous signs under the carpet and then being astonished when the lump gets too big. Your wife is paying attention to the first few crumbs and dust motes rather than imagining them away only to be confronted by them again when she does actually meet someone compatible and can no longer ignore them.
Originally Posted by Cherub
he’s open to her poly intentions, but cautioned her that he is not sure that he’s really looking for a committed long-term romantic relationship, but NOT surprisingly is open to meeting her at least for friendship and if things progress well for both, for meeting their physical desires.
If that's a direct quote my interpretation is that he's looking for NSA sex, or at most a FB arrangement.