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Old 10-25-2013, 08:37 AM
Hoyam Hoyam is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 49

Hmmm, this is diffecult.

It sounds like you thought it was better for her to have sex with others. But you were the one doing that. You don't explain, but i just assume that she was ok with that. I think it would be better that her lack of experience (5 partners at 24 is a lack of experience in your opinion?) would be a ' problem' for herself. Initialy she didn't even want this! It was more your problem or your father-role saying what is good for her? Not herself. But, whatever made her decide it, you both agreed.

It sounds like you agreed on your terms. Just sex, no feelings? Something like that? I think if you are realy into poly you have to accept that you have to negotiate the terms, that it's a constant proces of giving and taking.

For me it sounds like you were the one deciding before and now she suddenly is more 'dominant' (sorry, don't know another word, english is not my first language). And now roles changed you are suddenly desperate to do the craziest things to hold on to something (hold on to the believe that you should be the one and only). If you keep feeling like surgery, like becoming what she finds with him, i think you should stop this relationship. For you (i'm sure you are not the person you are proud of right now), and for her (being desperate is not very attractive or a good basic for your relationship). If you can deal with the fact that you are who you are and can be happy with her as she is, yes there is a pissibility you can work this out!
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