In the church, it was always, "Give up what you want, otherwise you'll be a bad person." Whereas in my little poly circle, it's more like, "I freely choose to do what you were hoping I'd do, because it's a way I can show that I love you."
Guess it partly depends on how big a thing is being asked, but if someone loves you with a pure heart, you can generally count on them to want things of you that aren't very hard or costly to give. Not that people don't sometimes show their love by making big sacrifices. Things that are truly given voluntarily (not just by being pressured into it) are not impingements upon freedom, in my mind. Just decisions.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"