Stop it with the WE stuff.
The relationship between your wife and her boyfriend is between them.
The relationship between you and him is between you two and not her.
If you all are playing together then that dynamic is between all three of you.
Stay out of your wife and her boyfriends relationship for it to be successful she needs to figure it out for herself.
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.