So, Alex is officially out of town, which is great because it'll give him time to see his long-distance girlfriend, and it'll give Jenny two weeks with the house to herself.
The night before Alex left, I called and asked if I could cook dinner for the both of them (because I knew they would be really busy getting him ready for his trip) and insisting that I wouldn't stay the night. Alex said this sounded great, and he would call Jenny to run it by her. A half hour later he calls me back, and I can tell from his voice that he's upset. I can't come over, he tells me, because he and Jenny had already made plans. I got the sense that he spent that time on the phone fighting with her about how he wanted me to come over.
I felt bad because 1) I was going to miss out on seeing my man for one last time before he leaves for god-knows-how-long, and 2) because I know that just by asking to see my boyfriend, I caused a fight.
Now I want to spend time with Jenny while she and I have time to be together one-on-one, but I'm tentative about doing it because of all this fighting that has been happening, and because I feel like I'll be intruding on her personal time, which is very important to her. I'm having a hard time getting a feel for her because it seems like she's really holding back from me. It also seems like Alex might be overdramatizing things.
I don't know what to do, if I should push to spend time with Jenny because she says she wants to get to know me, or let her be since she has this rare opportunity to have some time alone.
All I know is that what's going on behind those closed doors is keeping me from fully enjoying the relationships I have with Alex and Jenny. I know that there is always this stage in the cycle, and I guess what I want to know is, how long does that stage last? What can I do to help? I'm coming up against a huge fight-or-flight issue right now, and the stress is overwhelming. Help!