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Old 10-24-2013, 11:12 PM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Middle of Oregon
Posts: 422
Default it seems like you have it all figured out

including how she is supposed to experience the occurrences that happen in her life.

Do you really think you had nothing to do with the situation you are now in?

that is couldn't possibly have anything to do with what sounds an awful lot like you discounting her?

I guess I am having trouble understanding what exactly you are upset about. It's a long distance relationship, you said yourself that you wanted her to see other people as that is what you were doing. So now there is some distance between you and she is enjoying her time with someone else, but for some reason it is not OK?

You say you wanted to open the relationship for her, for her benefit, but it appears as if it was more to benefit you, seeing as how you seem to have a problem with her seeing other people.

I don't know, maybe it's because you seem to be jumping to conclusions about all these ways she feels and all the ways you have been evidently demoted when it sounds more like you had unrealistic views about the relationship to begin with.

You asked her to marry you right at the point you knew your relationship was going to become more distant. You asked her to commit to you right before the time when you knew it would be impossible to do that.

It sounds like you might have thought getting her to agree to marry you would make your long distance relationship much more intimate and close than the actual distance allowed

Frankly, I am a little shocked at others reactions here today because they sound so out of character. Your sound like you have an unmistakable tendency to lean towards monogamous relationships, you aren't really even asking for advice at how to make non-monogamy work but instead sound like you are the one who downgraded her, yet the staunchest fundamental polyamorists appear to be agreeing with you.

It must be me, and not bizarro world. When it looks like suddenly everybody on the planet turned into their polar opposite twin, it's more likely that I changed as opposed to everyone else simultaneously

Could have fooled me though

I am having trouble understanding why you say you want an open relationship, but seems like you want to punish her

Last edited by Dirtclustit; 10-24-2013 at 11:35 PM.
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