Originally Posted by keymasterryuko
How do you get rid of jealousy? That has to be a good way to start.
I've had to knock it down to *why* I'm upset - what I feel I'm missing, or what I feel I need. Saying that, though, is MUCH simpler than doing it, and it's definitely taken time and practice to be able to do that. I have revisited the same thing over and over again, thinking I've gotten to the meat of the issue, but really just peeling a layer off each time.
And, for me, it hasn't all gone away. I still have particular trigger items that I'm envious of, that due to circumstances aren't going away any time soon (being able to spend time with P's friends and family - M1 is close, location-wise, to them, and has a flexible schedule, while neither is true for me, so she ends up with more of P's family/friend time, and I tend to feel invisible at times). However, I've gotten to a point of understanding what it is that bothers me, rather than "I hate this, this sucks!" and we all know it will keep coming up from time to time until we can find a way for me to be more closely integrated into his life.
So, to get rid of jealousy? It's a lot of self-introspection, a lot of work, and a lot of time. It will not happen right away, and it will probably frustrate the hell out of you at some point. You're the only one who can decide if it's worth it for you to continue, or if it's too much.
Mono, in an LTR with Chops
Chops (previously known as 'P'):
partner and best friend. Poly. In LTRs with me and Xena, and dating Noa.
Xena (previously known as M1):
My metamour, Poly. Also in an LTR with Chops. Dating Noa and some others.
Noa (previously AG):
Dating Chops and Xena (individually).
My navel-gazing blog thread:
A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")