Thread: Babies
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Old 03-15-2010, 06:36 PM
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Lemondrop Lemondrop is offline
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Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
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I'm so sorry he said that to you. I think it's definitely worth fishing around a bit to see if he really meant it that way. Did he really mean to tell you that he would take no responsibility if an accident happened? Did he really mean to say that he would leave you with all of the responsibility? Did he mean that he doesn't trust you to take every precaution? Did he mean he would sleep better at night knowing that he had taken steps on his end to make sure he didn't end up a father when he didn't feel ready i.e. condoms? Did he just mean, "I don't know how I would feel, I need to think about it" or even "I can't know for sure until I'm in the situation"?

I know in the course of my marriage, Easy has said some pretty rotten things to me--but after fishing a lot, it turned out that he didn't mean them the way I heard them. Men really do communicate differently than women.

Quote:
Originally Posted by redsirenn View Post
...I have considered getting surgically sterilized. It just seems so permanent. Until I am older, I don't want to assume that how I feel now, is how I will always feel...
That seems wise.

Quote:
Originally Posted by redsirenn View Post
...And - it is really more of an issue of feeling that I don't want an abortion again. So, It is really a "i'd deal with it" situation; which isn't fair to a child...
Well, I don't want anyone to have a child they're not ready for. But I know some "accidents" that were and are completely loved and happy, including my own daughter. I love her fiercely.

I would also like to point out that adoption is another possibility, with open adoptions being a good compromise. Knowing those options are out there might give you some peace of mind, even if you don't need to utilize them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by redsirenn View Post
...Still - would be nice to feel that the true response was that I could depend on him....
I don't think it would hurt to say that to him and see what he says. Of course you want to know if you can depend on him. There are going to be plenty of situations in your life where you want to know if you can depend on him--unplanned pregnancy is not the only crisis you might face. (My son was born sick--three months in the NICU--huge crisis that might have broken up a weaker relationship.)

Last edited by NeonKaos; 03-15-2010 at 08:00 PM. Reason: merge posts
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