Originally Posted by polydisputes
I do not know what to do about my paranoia, I know it's irrational. But my fear is that I will have no secondaries when we open up and he will have a deep relationship and get caught up in the energy of that. I don't know what to do about this and i don't know how to talk to him about it without sounding accusatory.
Paranoia is sometimes simply bred by lack of knowledge. Try asking him.
But really, even if he is building friendships that may be relationships.. so what? Thats sometimes how this works. Every poly relationship I have had was built up like that so far. I would meet someone, chat, talk, become friends.. something would flare, we would end up dating.
Unless he is actively dating, I don't see how he is breaking the rules.
Unless of course you want to know every detail about every personal relationship. But thats a whole other challenge.