Originally Posted by GalaGirl
Are you saying you want to be child free? And her wanting to have a child makes it a total dealbreaker for you?
Not simply that. I assumed that this would happen at some point, but I didn't realize it would happen so soon. She seems to be fixated on getting pregnant, and I'm still just fixated on her. That presents a problem for me, and it makes me wonder if my feelings are stronger than the ones she reciprocates. I guess my main concern is the emotions I'm experiencing that I never expected. Although I love her and her husband very much, it's becoming agonizing for me to see them interact, because I know that they will always have so much more together than she and I will. Please understand that I completely own these emotions, and I understand that many find them ridiculous. Sometimes, even I can't find logic in them. In the beginning, I really thought that I may be polyamorous. But since meeting her, I have no interest in anyone else. That is the exact irony that pisses me off. Why does it have to be a married woman that I suddenly want monogamy with? I understand that if I plan on staying in this relationship, I will need to completely rebuild my expectations and desires. But I also understand that if I leave, I'll be heartbroken.