Originally Posted by Bluebird
Also, at what point would poly stop being ok and just be promiscuity on my part? Other people don't worry about that, maybe, but I do. I can still count on one hand the number of guys I have slept with in my life. It bothers me. I need to think on that more. It doesn't seem to have a rational reason behind it, why it should be bothersome.
Well, I am not concerned about "promiscuity..." It's up to me how many people I have sex with.
But, for me, more than 2 partners at a time is a hard balancing act. I've had 3 and 4 at a time. It only works if I see partners 3 and 4 irregularly and kind of casually. There is only so much of me to go around, and only so many days in the week. I've been mostly content to have only had 2 partners since May of 2012. I met Ginger in Jan of 2012 and our relationship is fulfilling to the point I don't seem to need another guy. I did see someone else the first few months of knowing Ginger, but it was hard... only saw him every other week for a few hours, no sleepovers. That was all I could manage. I didn't feel it was fair to Guy 2 to be able to see me so seldom. He wanted more.
It's all very well to fall in love with 2, 3 or more. It's another thing entirely to healthfully manage more than 2 relationships. Sadly, some people who are doing that only *think* they are doing it well.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 60) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
also loving Punk (monogamish, former swinger, 42, M) since Oct 2015
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 2 years