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Old 10-20-2013, 05:45 AM
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fuchka fuchka is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 391

nycindie - Thank you so much for that quote. It's a good one to remember.

Meera - hey! Glad you like it I enjoy writing, and from time to time have been engaged with print publishing but nothing too major. I feel I've got a bit of learning to do yet before I can make confident strides in that department - if ever! But thanks for your vote of confidence. It's always nice to hear when your words are appreciated.


A few more days of family shenanigans here, and then heading back. Heading back, hmm. Or is it away? When I travel, I'm never quite sure if I'm leaving or returning. Perhaps it's neither. Whereever I am, I'm here. And when I get there, my here will be there.

This trip was an internal turning point for me emotionally, re my family. I've decided to not 'come out' to them, at least not explicitly. I've had a different sit-down 'coming out' conversation with them already, many years ago. Was when I realised I wasn't straight, and in fact, couldn't see myself settling down with a guy. I was proud of myself for having the courage and honesty to come out to them, but it was a flawed mission (a long story. Just imagine an implosion of internal organs.) Don't see the point of going through that again. They weren't equipped to grasp that, then, they are not equipped to grasp this, now. Especially not when it's laid out in words.

What I have decided to do, is just 'be out'. This is not an entirely new decision; the concept has been growing on me over the last year or so. But I feel like on this holiday, visiting family and family friends, I have confirmed this intention within myself.

I don't have to come out. I am out. If there's a closet, it's no more than your closed mind.

Stumbled upon this post searching for "coming out alternatives" (I was looking for a phrase that could better describe my attitude to 'coming out'). I liked this:
Instead of Ďcoming outí, you can just be out. You know that assumption any given person is straight Ė even people whose sexual or gender identities arenít knowable, like babies or strangers? That assumption makes things harder for us. Itís why we have to announce we arenít cishets to every new person we meet, why we get excluded from social discussions, why we sometimes feel like guests in our own homes. Once we know we arenít, I sometimes think announcing so in dramatic, deliberate ways shores up the problem: the more shocking not being straight is made to seem, the more straightness gets reified as the default. Consider that, instead of sitting people down to give them the talk or making stressful, emotional speeches, you have the option of just getting on with things Ė of not formally declaring yourself queer, but not hiding it either. Jodie Foster did just that.
You know what? I feel like celebrating.
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