Originally Posted by london
The insecurity might just be there with just cause and when it exists in a metamour, it might mean my potential/new partner isn't trustworthy. What I'm saying is that it doesnt matter why its there, it only matters that it exists at all.
Please define what you mean by "insecurity."
I see insecurity as a personal trait, something inherent in a person irregardless of their surroundings and external stimuli. I cannot be insecure because of what someone else has done, I can only be insecure in spite of what anyone else does. If I am insecure, I must deal with it in myself. There are no changes that my partner could make to address my hypothetical insecurity.
That's completely different from having rational apprehensions explicitly caused by an external source.
I am not an insecure person. That doesn't make me immune to fear about what Stephen Harper is doing to Canada. Nothing I could "fix" in myself would make him into a responsible citizen. My mistrust in his leadership does not equate to insecurity.
However, from the way you talk, the fact that I'm afraid of what my government is doing means that I'm insecure and that I need to address my fear as a personal issue. I say that's bullshit.
So please define what "insecurity" means to you, such that it can be caused by another person.