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Old 10-19-2013, 11:50 PM
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Bluebird Bluebird is offline
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,143

Oh, another thing I wanted to mention is that on Wednesday night, my ex's mom - yes, his mother - kinda cornered me in the bathroom and asked me several questions: how were things going in my life, was I happy with my new guy, did I ever think I'd get back together with her son? Aiyiyi! Overall, I found it comical, but I couldn't really focus because of the feelings I was trying to get under control with the other situation. I told M about it.

Today was a good day - played WarMachine with M, and he played a game with my son. Cute nerdy guy - I will call him C - was there again and he flirted with me quite shamelessly. I flirted back. I do like him a lot, I think. Only, he's a smoker and leaving the country in February AND he is almost 10 years younger than me. Of course, M is 10 years older than me. M made a joke again about me hooking up with C, but I dismissed it. I asked my daughter today, how many boyfriends is too many and she told me, that is kinda up to the guys, isn't it? Meaning, I guess, they would reduce their own number if they were feeling neglected.

Eh. I like C from what I know of him, and I know I will see him again on Thursday, but I dunno about dating him. I am still glowing and head over heels for M. I am not sure if I would be ok with splitting more of my time. Also, maybe he is just a big flirt. M doesn't think so, though. He thinks if I said jump, C would in a second.

And C has a girlfriend of like 6 or 7 months. He says she is not willing to have sex with him, and that won't change, and that they have agreed that he can have relationships when he leaves the country. They aren't going to stay together. Not sure if she would feel the same way if he wanted to open now...

Also, at what point would poly stop being ok and just be promiscuity on my part? Other people don't worry about that, maybe, but I do. I can still count on one hand the number of guys I have slept with in my life. It bothers me. I need to think on that more. It doesn't seem to have a rational reason behind it, why it should be bothersome.

Oh, bother.

It does feel awful strange to be sitting, cradled in my husbands arms, squee-ing on the inside because I am thinking of how very much I love M, and then pausing those thoughts to smile about C.

Seriously, I think I need to take a chill pill!
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal

Me, center of a MFM V-shaped polycule (39F)
Wife to DarkKnight (40M) & PunkRockAwesomesauce (42M)
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