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Old 03-13-2010, 09:24 PM
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jackrabbit jackrabbit is offline
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Houston Texas area
Posts: 22

Originally Posted by saudade View Post
One of my partners got his start with Heinlein too, and I discovered his novels through him. Stranger in a Strange Land and The Moon is a Harsh Mistress are my favorites of his novels (so far). Apparently they're a common starting point for many of us.
It's not surprising that people who read those novels wound up here. I don't remember Stranger as well, but he made the setup in Mistress sound really desirable. There have been societies described in SF novels that sounded so wonderful that it hurt I couldn't live there.
In my web of relationships, there's no assumption of equal time, or fixed schedule of 'dates'. (You might look into the Kerista commune; I read somewhere that one of the reasons it ended was difficulty stemming from rigid sleeping schedules.) I spend most of my time with my two live-in primary partners, and occasionally hang out with my other loves. We're not a closed group (my girlfriend has a boyfriend, who has a boyfriend, who has other lovers I haven't met and likely never will) and we're open to occasional and non-romantic sexual liaisons, so we're not fluid bonded either.
It's set up the way it is because the assumption is that there are no changes in living arrangements. Everyone continues living with whoever they were living with before. It's meant as a conversion from existing monogamy, as opposed to starting from scratch and making major configuration changes that affect the kids. In this setup, the kids never have to move. They are not affected in any way, other than possible adjustment to polyamory.

Sure, there are logistics involved. The "dates" come about because all of the people you are romantic with, excluding only one, live in another household.

Giving everyone equal time was just a suggestion. Everything is, really. People can adjust the gag any way they wish. How a person coordinates with his/her partners is totally up to him/her and them.
If you want to have in your DPG, and you find people who want it with you, that's great. Congratulations, and please enjoy yourselves. It's just that everyone practices poly differently, so it might be hard to find people who are compatible to you romantically AND open to poly AND interested in your particular format.
That's the reason for putting it on the web. Since poly is such an obscure topic, pages related to it won't be buried as far down in searches as most other topics. After all, google is how I found this place. All it takes is curiosity to do a search.
First, I'd like to point out that your wording, "failed an AIDS test", is rather strong. Taking the intent of your statement rather than your word choices, it happens in real life that an HIV-positive person and an HIV-negative person fall in love. It also happens that people in that situation have safe sex and take care of each other. I've heard of fluid-bonded poly tribes composed only of HIV-positive people too.
Okay, I'll rework that. I guess the point I'm trying to get across is that it's one thing to take the risk if it only affects you, and another if it affects other people who did not make that choice. It's either a closed group or it's not. The point of being closed is to shut out the chance of disease. So that you don't have to bother with protection. Your protection is being in the group.

But sure, if the group is entirely HIV-positive, there's no issue whatsoever.

Thanks for the comments.

Last edited by jackrabbit; 03-14-2010 at 03:04 AM.
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