Thread: Not Dead Yet!
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Old 10-19-2013, 12:28 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
I am sure you are very attractive though.
Yes, she is - I've met her and can say so!

YES, Opal, you are pretty and have nothing to worry about. It was a long time ago, but I still remember your smile! We went to that poly cocktail party and you had no problem talking to people. You looked great, and your personality sparkled. I recall several people going over to talk to you!

I can totally relate to the self-deprecating thoughts that create a vicious circle - when I want to meet people but feel icky in some way, how I feel about myself creates this energy around me that prevents people from approaching, or if they do, my insecurities repel them. It is the feeling down about ourselves that is unattractive, nothing else!

I tell this to friends sometimes - just before gong to sleep at night, make a gratitude list. At least 10 things you are grateful for in your life. Do that every night and look at it in the morning. It does help to get me out of a funk when I do that!

Also know that these jealousies and fears you have are just indicators of where to look deeper within yourself. These are challenges and you will become stronger and more confident once you look at them, see where they come from, and step back from attaching any power to these feelings.
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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