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Old 03-13-2010, 04:50 PM
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jackrabbit jackrabbit is offline
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Houston Texas area
Posts: 22

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
Jackrabbit, I am certainly not going to ridicule you. So first off, welcome to the forum!
You imply in your opening post that you have never had a relationship of this type - is that true? What relationships structures have you been able to experience personally so far?
Just a regular marriage. I enjoyed it okay, but I also missed the variety of dating. The divorce was the fault of both of us, but it had nothing to do with other people.
I think that if this configuration (your "DPG") is one that is your goal, then you have done an admirable job of thinking it through and documenting it - it will certainly give your prospective dates ample information on which to base their expectations about having a relationship with you.
Well, certainly that is a goal, but I really intended it for everyone, to promote the idea of polyamory itself. This may not be the way everyone does it, but it is a way you can do it (once any flaws are removed).

The more people who embrace polyandry, the fewer people to look down on those who currently practice it.
However (you knew this was coming), one of the things that I have learned is that there are many, many ways of doing polyamory, and that what works for one doesn't necessarily work for others. Some like the idea of closed so-called "polyfidelitous" groups, others prefer a more open arrangement, where people come and go in their lives.
Oh, sure. I wasn't proposing it as a rigid standard. It's just a concept. If people read it and like it, fine. Or they can just use it as a starting point and modify it any way they wish. Even if they don't like the particular configuration, they are at least thinking about the idea of polyamory. It has never occurred to most people.
There are several things that you lay out in your blog that just wouldn't work for me in my configuration, but that absolutely doesn't make them wrong for you. Be prepared for some poly folk to look at this and say "thanks but no thanks" for the reason that it won't work for them either.
Which is why I was looking for feedback. So that I can make adjustments that address everyone's concerns. Or try to, anyway. I can't do anything about contradictory goals.
So the only thing I would caution is that you stay open-minded as you put this concept into action - you may find that it doesn't work as well for you as you thought initially, or it may not work for the people that you meet. Be prepared to rethink things as you go. I know I learned a ton of stuff once I started experiencing various poly relationships. Mostly it was what I didn't want, but in addition a large part of it was that I needed to relax in terms of my "poly ideal".
Sure, I'm flexible. Also, remember that it isn't finished. I haven't addressed things like censure by society yet. For instance, the fact that Tiger Woods would probably have lost his contracts even if his wife did give permission. A married person having sex with multiple people, with permission or not, isn't considered "wholesome".

Last edited by jackrabbit; 03-13-2010 at 04:54 PM.
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