Had a hiccup with M last night while we were out wth a friend. He and the friend were discussing time at M's house and some other people that were there. All of the names I had heard previously, except one, and M was talking about how this person had joined their gaming group. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, because we had just had a series of discussions as to why I wasn't allowed over to his home. It was assured to me again and again that it had nothing to do with me personally, just that his wife was embarrassed about their home and no one new was allowed over at all. H actually sent me a message spelling out exactly the 4 people were that she had allowed over in the last four years and how it wasn't personal.
Then I hear about this person who out of the blue is spending time there now.
I had to excuse myself immediately to collect myself in the restroom. It felt like a HUGE slap in the face. I didn't cause any drama or anything, just left the table.
Later, M remarked he thought I seemed upset and I told him that I was, a little, but that we could discuss it later. He continued to press me and I told him how I felt and he said it wasn't a big deal, that this person had been in his house before. I pointed out he was never mentioned, ever in his explanations or his wife's message. He told me they both had forgotten.
Sigh. When we got back to my house to spend the night I told him I still felt hurt, because it was sprung on me suddenly and seemed like a lie. However, I was determined to not make a big deal about it - I am not going to force myself over to someone's house if they don't want me there, and ultimately it isn't worth breaking up over. It's stupid. It is hurtful to me because of the way it came out, but whatever. He reiterated that the person had been there before and maybe someday I could come over. Again, whatever. I got over it - seriously, I just had to gain control over the suddenness of it at the restaurant, and then we had a discussion about it.
We had a great night together in my bedroom and again this morning. We are going to play a WarMachine on Saturday with my son.
Honestly right now when I think about things, it does sting still. I am not going to dwell on it though, because there is just no point.
A modern day polyamorous polygamist My Online Journal
Me, center of a MFM V-shaped polycule (38F)
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