Thread: Wide Awake
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Old 10-17-2013, 11:02 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 915

You are absolutely right. I keep great and protective people around me. Everyone picked up on it at different times. My best friend and MIL? The first time they met her. My MIL said that she shifty eyes and needed to be watched like a hawk in the sky. She probably knew what she was up to when she referred to her as Matt's visible replacement. My best friend just did not believe that she could be trusted and firmly stood by her claim that she was no good for me until the end. Matt? Years in to the relationship when he was around her, he got a taste of it. He always had a nagging feeling and tried to express that without coming off like he was trying to tell me how to live. I did not hear him out. Matt is a very good judge of character, and I should have listened to all of them. I guess I just did not want to believe anything bad about her. Love can make you blind and a fool for some people.

How I conducted myself goes without saying. I played my role in this disastrous turn of events. I have owned up to everything and earned a significant amount of his trust back.

You are right again. There is a huge difference between a cowgirl and someone who respects the individual and the unit as a whole. Matt and my best friend have gotten on well since day one. There is a huge level of mutual respect, and if I were to consider getting in to a relationship with her, he knows how much she respects him and would never set out to break us apart or disrespect him/any established boundaries. I think that is what stopped her from admitting her feelings earlier. There is a certain level of security and comfort that comes with that mutual respect, which could explain why he is not flat out saying he is 100% against a hypothetical relationship. I would not be surprised if she talked to him before me. It is not in her nature to overstep lines. That could very well be why he brought it up.

It is not the time to start something new, but there is no harm in open discussion. We have made so much progress, and I want to stay on the path of a healthy marriage. We have a counselling appointment from 7-8:15 AM tomorrow morning. We are contending with a 10 hour time difference, but our counsellor worked with us and we are pretty close to our usual time with her. This will be discussed during the appointment and over time. We have a date tomorrow night, and I would prefer not to overshadow our evening with any of the sadness around us or anything outside of our sugary cocoon.

I am slated to have dinner with her Saturday night, so we will discuss it then. I have already ran it past Matt to make sure he was really okay with it. He is fine with it but confused as to why I felt the need to tell him. Two words: full disclosure.

I am not thinking about it too much. The initial shock and huh factor is slowly wearing off. Apparently, we have been enjoying NSG aspect for years. I am just the last to know and realise what it has been all this time. I am looking forward to seeing her this weekend. Hopefully, Matt and his best friend will avoid their other friends and their Hangover like antics.
Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to...
Matt (Hubby) - The once distant stranger that I complement beautifully. DH of 13 years and father of our four children.

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