The death of third relative is pending. I cannot wrap my head around that. I was at a loss as to what to say to my aunt. She is waiting for the love of her life to die, and his bedroom is directly across the hall from hers, so she is just watching and waiting. She is heartbroken, and I have no idea how to comfort her. She was surprised to see me, and I stayed with her for awhile. I did not get to talk to my uncle because he was out it. He is being administered Morphine for pain management. He has lost so much weight, and he was not big to begin with. He had no weight to lose. I am not sure I can bring myself to talk to him if he wakes up. I had to correct my cousin when she said something about him in past tense like he was dead. No matter how out of it he is, he can still hear.
My family is really close, so the older generations have always been integral parts of our lives. My great-grandmother helped raise me. She was quite influential in my life, and I find that most of the things I do even after her passing are things I want her to be proud of me for. It is the same with great aunts and uncles. My great aunt and uncle were married 44 years, so there has never been a time when she was not in my life.
My great aunt was scheduled to have open heart surgery last Thursday. My grandmother sent a text stating that her children were coming in from Wales, and I was like, "Okay. Maybe she will be okay." The doctors decided not to operate. In not so many words, they were sure that if they put her under, she would not wake up again. She had 75% blockage. With all the heart issues, she went in to renal failure and was on dialysis. My great uncle called my grandmother Monday morning around 4 AM, and he said she was being transported to the closest hospital. By 5 AM, she was gone. COD is believed to be a massive heart attack. That funeral is set for Saturday afternoon.
Initially, I was going to go alone after finding out about my aunt. I had already decided to leave Wednesday for a Thursday arrival. I had talked to Nanny J and Matt to make sure they could handle them for the remainder of the school week and the weekend. He was trying not to step on my toes and give me space, but Matt knows me.
Then Monday night, I got a call from my daddy. He had received a call from his sister, who was passing along a message from their sister. My uncle was not doing well, and hospice was not sure he would make it through the night. I was like, "Are you kidding me?" I found out about my great aunt 12 hours before, and then, that?
Matt was apprehensive after the second call, and he flat out told me that he did not think I was in the position to handle all of this by myself. He invited himself on the trip. I do not mind. He keeps me calm. He took care of everything Tuesday, carried on as normal Wednesday, and made sure work was covered for Thursday, as he does not work on Friday's. Nanny J is with us and is watching them while we attend the funeral on Saturday. He picked up my daughter's school work after school on Wednesday.
I knew my uncle's situation, but I did not expect it to go down at this accelerated speed. It was during my birthday weekend that I found out about him going on hospice. His doctors and specialists were certain that he would not survive long enough for a transplant. My aunt opted against him being treated as an in-patient and wanted him to be comfortable at home. Two months later, obviously, they were right. Surviving long-term without a functioning liver is impossible.
My paternal relatives live for drama. I have kept my distance since I was 11. I am respectful because they are my daddy's relatives, but do I care to be around all of them at once? No. I like certain ones. My mum's family is very quiet and the total opposite, and I have taken after that side. Outside of their thirst for drama, they frown upon people who make something of themselves. My cousin's mother accused her of thinking she was better than the family for attending university and graduate school. Is it any wonder I feel no desire to bring my children around them?
I am trying to figure out how my daddy was raised in the same home as his brothers and sisters, but he is so different. He is quiet and very down to earth. They drink like fish. He may have a beer or a glass of whiskey a couple of times a year. They have an aversion to working. He owns a company. He has been married to the same woman for almost 40 years. The males average 2-4 wives before 40 and have children by all of them. I could swear he was adopted, but he is his father's twin.
Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to...
Matt (Hubby) - The once distant stranger that I complement beautifully. DH of 12 years and father of our (3.5) children.